SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DESERT—So let me tell you what happened yesterday. This was my third time visiting these crossroads. It’s like 18 miles from my house, out on a pretty decent dirt road (I’m used to worse). I’m trying to get a proxy to confirm that this trailer is vacant. Trailer looks shitty/empty, and it’s on an airstrip of a tiny, dirt airport that is probably never used anymore.
First time I came out was a few weeks ago to do seven RI's--(reinterviews). One guy had given proxies for seven of his neighbors because I guess he knew a lot about them. The office wanted the info double checked.
He wasn’t home, gate locked, and cases were reassigned the next day to somebody else. His name was on the gate, though, and I happened to remember it.
So last week I drove out to see this trailer for the first time. Couldn’t get close. The whole airport lot (15-20 acres) was fenced, gates locked. Called owner and manager listed online-they didn’t answer. I recognized the area from the time I came out to do RIs on that guy and thought he’d be helpful but he wasn’t home at the time.
So yesterday they finally tell us the cases we have are the cases we’re stuck with. I drive again out to the area. My plan is... I’m going to drive down to the trailer, look at it with my binoculars, turn around, and stop at useful-guy’s house if he’s home.
I’m driving past his house, looking around his yard to see if he’s home, and what do I see?? A naked man with a dad-bod standing in the desert, facing away from me (thank God), with super-tan butt cheeks (meaning he does this a lot). I screamed a short, high-pitched scream. Looked forward and hit the gas, hoping he didn’t think I saw him.
I took my time scoping out the trailer and made my way back to the naked guy’s house, (made the sign of the cross a couple times even though I’m not even Catholic anymore, praying he’s dressed), and pulled up to his gate. I know I’ve got to get this bitch-ass trailer closed. He was standing kind of far away. I thought he had put a pair of shorts on, but it was actually just a towel he’d wrapped around himself, and was holding up.
I said I was from the Census, and he walked closer. I asked about the trailer, got good info. Chatted with the guy for about 15 minutes while he was just wearing a towel and tennis shoes. He had an accent that I couldn’t quite identify, pretty sure he was Australian. We just got along.
So if he ever Googles “Census worker” and “nudist” to see if I told on him,
Well, Sir, here’s your story, it’s clearly about you. . And yes, I noticed your tattoo. ...don’t ask.
—AC from LV