YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio--We, the enumerators were generally assigned to our local area, and, after the first day or so, you kind of picked up on your surroundings of how each interaction would go. Oftentimes the political signs, cleanliness of the property, neighborhood, age of the car in the driveway, etc., were good indicators. During my first week I happened to be assigned close to a relative's house. So, I felt more comfortable than what became usual.
The house and property were well kept and neat. I hopped out of my truck and strolled up to the front door. A preteen girl answered and told me to hold on. She was gone for a few minutes before the door was opened by an older, slow-moving gentleman that was clearly winded. He had a trach tube and a speaking valve.
I began the interview. The man was cooperative and talkative, but his speech was hard to understand and he had to gasp between words, so just getting started seemed to take forever. And yet somehow he was a talker. He had a story to go along with each statement or question I asked. But I am from the South, so conversation is my specialty.
If you are a census taker, you know the eye roll I fought when it came to asking his SEX, which is borderline offensive to some, especially since there is only Male and Female to choose from. (And that opens its door to debate and to me, personally being offended by opinions. I'm LGBTQ. People can be harsh.)
Well, he was one of those types. He started expressing his passionate opinion on the whole transgender debate. Bathrooms. Dressing rooms. Military. He wasn't being mean, just passionate. And ill-informed. But I do believe that everyone has a right to their opinion.
I knew when I took the job that I would have to police myself and my facial expressions to maintain my employment. It's not the first time I've had a very visible job that required me to be neutral while on duty. I'm a former police officer.
I also might add here that I have a mohawk. It was blue at the time. I dress like a boy. I'm a tee shirt and jeans kinda girl. I drive a truck, and I am not "dainty".
But since he wasn't attacking or being aggressive, I kindly tried to indicate to him that I had a different opinion and he was possibly saying something he at least shouldn't say to me.
He took notice of my body language and facial expression and paused. Then he shocked me. He inquired as to what he said that was wrong!
I politely said that I shouldn't be discussing political views or lifestyles and moved on to the next question. He answered and then went right back to where we were. He said, jokingly, that "SHIM" should be added to the M/F selection. I considered my options, and decided to go with my inclination to educate him. He seemed kind enough to not complain and get me fired, anyway.
I explained to him that what he said wasn't funny. I compared the slang term to other terms he might relate to. I could see the gears turning and it seemed to click. I got about halfway through my next question before he started asking me questions.
I could tell that he honestly wanted to be educated. He would make a cliche statement about transgendered individuals, in general. I would correct him or explain how it was actually far-fetched. He brought up the "well I don't want my daughter going into a bathroom when a "woman" with a d**k is waiting to rape her...."
I briefly touched on a few of my friend's struggles with coming out, the absolute terror they would experience if they had to use the bathroom in public; that some would plan their entire days with pit stops at home, often adding hours onto errands just because of locations. I asked him if he's ever feared for his life walking into a public restroom. I pointed out pastors at churches and asked him if he would make a similar statement about letting a son attend church. He understood the parallel.
I tried to move on. Remember, he has a trach. I made it through a few more questions. He asked a few more. He'd get off track. I'd direct him back to telling me about the rest of the people in his home.
At another point he started to express his opinion on the "Race" question. He paused and asked me what I thought. I smiled and told him that I hope, one day, that race truly doesn't matter...on forms anyway.
We sat there talking like old friends. In our disagreements, we were both very polite. He was incredibly respectful. He would often say "I don't mean to offend you but..." And he meant it. He would allow me time to respond and explain. He even agreed with me on a few things once I showed him my perspective. We both agreed that had we ran into each other at a local bar that we would have continued our talk until last call.
When I went to leave he said, "Goodbye, ma'am...Oh! I mean! Wait! I didn't mean to assume! How should I refer to you?!?!"
I smiled and laughed. I said, "You can call me Jasmynn, neighbor, friend, her, she, girl, lady...even b***h on the days I deserve it, but that's only if we're friends. Ma'am is definitely okay. I'm a lesbian and I'm a girl. But thank you for being considerate enough to ask!"
We both laughed and waved, and now I have a friend that still disagrees with a lot of my beliefs, but understands much better now and agrees with a few things that he didn't before we met.
I was there almost three hours. It was TOTALLY worth it.
—Jasmynn Johnson